get mucked!

a few years ago i released a book called gutter muck.
it is real and raw and obscene and nasty and very in-your-face...
a book about a young man who is so angry at the world that he rebels against every possible rule thrown at him.
i got favorable reviews from those who could stomach it...
but there was this part of me that worried i could be alienating people with something so offensive!
maybe my message was lost in all the profanity and nastiness.
so...i decided to do some re-tweaking...write a version that was less...well... raunchy.
i figured that way those who did not had stomachs that were not as strong could still digest it and enjoy it.

well...now...i am offering it to the world...
an alternate version...
for everyone who loves to read...
especially those who love to read books with their kindles and nooks and phones.
now...everyone can enjoy it...or be offended by it.

so...go to...
http://store.blurb.com/ebooks/521144-gutter-muck
and check it out.

if the new version does not appeal to you...
if it's way too weird...
then try the older version.

they are both available at 
http://www.blurb.com/b/2417597-gutter-muck

point...
click...
read!

gutter muck [alternate version] excerpt

[you cant do that]

but watchin ol dickypants get all jowled and frothy fangs was makin me cream.  alex.  hes the blotty that got me gummin like a freakazoid starsuckle and all.  all that malchicks and viddy and droogs and devotchkas and glazzies and slovos talk and all.  damn.  it all sunk in one summer after i read and read and read and re-read clockwork and all.  like all the time.  but i didnt spill that beanage to any sculcher within miles.  no one needed to know that preck.  i just weezied 

around gummin all this alex style preck and makin all these sculchers all nervy and fuzie 

and jitzo and all with all my mazzy cryptic lingo.  it was beeyoot for sure.  ol dickpickweed  jacked my clockwork and all and thought he was all slick and stuff and tried keepin up with me and all.  he thought he figgied out my bitty gameroo and before long was gummin back to me in this alex style lingo and figgyin all this precky preck out but he couldnt member anything and when i caught the sculcher flippin through my clockwork i ripped his mugger off and ripped the preck outta his damn didgies.  by then i figgied i hadta wizzle up my own tongees.  this got the ol dicky all hot and bothered and cranky and pissy that he didnt know where to start.  

[ya skinny precky] 

i just sat back and cacksied. 

beeyoot.  and i kept at it too.  over and over.  slammin him left and right with all this kindza preck that his skuller was spinnin over it all and not pickin up a single word and stuff.  beeyoot and a halfy.

if you can madgie for a sec we were all crammed into his precious pukey green rent-o-beamer wannabe clunker.  this hunka junk precky preck veek reeked of sausage and ciggies and catty piss.  just whiffin the lunks made me wanna puke all over the backseat.  and i think i actually got close a coupla times.  i was crammin my didgies all the waaaaay down my mouth too.  you know tryin to wiggle the bejeeblees out of my throat and uvula and tonsils and anything else that lived in there hopin i could yack up some 

its all i needed to hear as i was flick flick flick flickin my lighter and settin ablaze some ciggie i had found just sittin on the ground of that ratzer.  we were weezyin along one of them musty outer hallways and all and there she was justa sittin there on the ground waitin for me to pick her up.  i woulda lit up right then and there but it took me a few seckies to get my didgies on my lighter.  and then in no time i was puffin all these mazzy clouds at ol dickypants from the backseat.  justa blowin and blowin and blowin and blowin and there wasnt a whole helluva lot that sculcher could do about it. 

[i aint moving until you put that thing out] 

ol dickypants had killed the engine and was just sittin there like he was somethin hammerish and all.  like that was gonna make some kinda statement and all.  and so i just crossed my arms and sat there and looked back into his muddy eyes as he glared at me through his cracked rearview all steamy and reddy face and pissy and all justa suckin away.  puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff

[ill take you back inside myself] 

old dickypants was gummin.  [yeah thats gonna happy] 

i gummed back at him with the ciggie danglin outta my mugger. 

puff puff puff puff i could see it in the rearview lookin all mazzy and sweet and beeyoot.  you see they had 

just tried to lock me up.  whatta joke that was i tell ya.  it didnt matter if it was for a day or a week or a year or whatever.  throwin me in some pissy ratzer wasnt gonna change squat about nothin. 

those filthy bars man.  no matter what i did they were always there. you know.

  

hoverin

and all.

read the rest 

of

gutter muck

[alternate version]

available 

tuesday, march 31

@ 

blurb.com

gutter muck [alternate version]

the day the original version of gutter muck was published...

the very day my author's copy was delivered to me...

my muse was screaming at me...

"JT...wait...wait...i have an idea...a better idea!

what about this?"

i tried to shut her up.

i tried to put on headphones.

i wanted to celebrate the release of my new novel.

i wanted to bask in the rapture!

but she kept on...

screaming...

whining...

throwing poo...

nothing i could do would shut her up.

so, reluctantly,

i listened.

she had this idea.

she told me of another way that gutter muck could work.

i didn't want to listen.

i didn't want to hear her.

but...i did.

several months later...

after delving back into the characters that i just said goodbye to...

i created another version to gutter muck.

the original version is raw, raunchy, loaded with profanity...

so much so i am sure it has offended anyone who has had the stomach to read it.

my muse had me convinced that this might alienate some people.

so...i made an alternate version...

a version devoid of all the rawness and raunchiness and explosive profanity.

and in the process of making a few changes...

a new story sprouted.

new characters...

new ideas...

new thoughts...

a new set of ripples brought a whole new life to my novel.

the story was changed a bit...

but for the most part, it is still intact.

i have been reluctant to release it for numerous reasons.

mainly...i didn't want to confuse people...

two version of one novel?

would anyone have patience for that?

i wasn't sure.

i am not sure.

so for a few years i shelved it...

so uncertain...

and unwilling...

to let anyone peek at this different version.

my muse has me convinced that releasing it to the public is the only solution!

so...

an alternate version 

of 

gutter muck.

will be officially released

in hard copy version and in e-book form...

at blurb.com

on tuesday, march 31.

to take a little peek...

check out...

http://www.blurb.com/books/2417597-gutter-muck

<")))><

k!ck [the screenplay]--an excerpt

check out the first fifteen pages...

http://www.blurb.com/books/1876141-k-ck-the-screenplay