[stay weird]

"Stay Weird"

Weird.

That would be me.

That's a word I cling to so often...

so many facets of my life are defined by that word.

And certainly weird would be no exception each time I watch the Academy Awards.

Weird.

Uh huh.

For me, the most exciting awards of the evening are the writing awards.

Yeah, writing.

Oh, I said it...writing.

Sure the acting awards are cool...and I do pose an interest.

Yay, Meryl Streep.  Yay, Frances McDormand.  Yay, Whoopi Goldberg.  Yay, Sean Penn.

But...the writing awards...

I find myself leaning in a little closer...

moving closer to the television...

waiting...

not only to see what the academy constitutes good writing...

but to see who has turned their writing into moving pictures...

who has turned their dream into reality.

Simply, I love it.

And, yes, I know that's weird.

I'm not saying that I will ever grace that stage with anything I wrote...

but the dream...

the thought...

the idea that I could take my writing to another level...

to reach more people with what I've written...

even if it isn't Oscar-worthy...

the Oscars always catapult me into wanting to push myself a little harder...

a reminder that dreams do happen...

and that...if I just keep trying...

something that I've written just might be read by more than ten people.

Well, in that interim...

here are some of my favorite Oscar-winning speeches in the last few years...

speeches that inspire me...

speeches that make me want to be a better writer...

speeches that make me want to dream a little bit bigger!

I, too, can dream.

Jordan Peele

“I stopped writing this movie about 20 times because I thought it was impossible. I thought it wasn’t going to work. I thought no one would ever make this movie. But I kept coming back to it because I knew if someone let me make this movie, that people would hear it and people would see it.” 

James Ivory

"Whether straight or gay or somewhere in between, we've all gone through first love and come out the other side in tact."

Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin McCraney

"Very clearly, even in my dreams this could not be true, but to hell with dreams!  I'm done with it because this is true.  Oh, my goodness."

Graham Moore

"I promise you do.  You do.  Stay weird.  Stay different.  And then when it's your turn, and you are the one standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person who comes along."

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[5...4...3...2...1...all systems g-wait...not yet!]

[5…4…3…2…1…all systems g–wait…not quite yet…]

FEBRUARY 12, 2018 ~ TOADRICK ~ EDIT"[5…4…3…2…1…ALL SYSTEMS G–WAIT…NOT QUITE YET…]"

so, there’s a website that i am ready to launch into cyberspace.  it is a website i worked on rather diligently back a few years ago…all my blood, sweat, and tears…poured so much into it.  when it was all done…ready to be viewed…i pulled the plug on all the engines…kept it grounded.

why?

well, that will require a hundred more blogs to answer that question.  [stay tuned!  something to look forward to.  yeehaw!]

anyway…today…monday, february 11, 2018, i dusted off my old, dormant website…checked it out myself…[“wow, this is gonna be good, i can tell.”  i was so dory when i looked it over…no clue as to half the things i did with it.]

in this new year…in this awesome new year…2018…i am taking more chances with my books…my writing…and not letting the same old stupid obstacles hold me back anymore.

this is an unofficial launching…because as of now, the site still needs a little love…it requires some tweaking before it can be official.  so, for now i am doing a test run.  to anyone reading this right now…and within the remainder of the week…you get to sample how the sample looks right now!  wow…how lucky are you?!

bear in mind that there are some minor glitches.  the blog page is a bit wonky.  i am not sure why it looks that way…and im the creator.  i have tinkered with it…but not with very much success.  technology is not being that friendly to me at the moment…but i am confident and hoping to conquer this minor setback.

anyway…to those of you reading…[hello, is there anybody out there?] i hope you enjoy.

in a few days…the real launch will take place.

so, get your sunglasses and phones ready…it will be absolutely monumental!

<“)))><

[march of the mushrooms]

FEBRUARY 11, 2018 ~ TOADRICK ~ EDIT

"[MARCH OF THE MUSHROOMS]"

Overnight…

by early the next day, long before the sun rises, we are ready, so ready, more than ready. Tossed once more from another safe yet suffocating cocoon and into the open, frigid, frightening world. We’ve been here before, standing in there same shoes, old fists, charged and pumped–and oh, so soft–so soft–unable to wreak any havoc or do any damage.

But now, now–[how now, brown cow, we giggle–] now it is time! This is our moment. Finally!

We bring to the surface, pull from the electric charges that illuminate our hearts, once more, all the fears and obstacles that once stood before us–blocking, obstructing, preposterously preventing us from 

pursuing–and claiming, yes, claiming, what is so rightfully ours.

This is how the year started for me.

A mere mushroom…

meek…mild…patient…

now…persistent…

pushing his way up through the cracks of the pavement…

trying to find a place…

a voice…

no longer with my soft fists…

I am so ready to inherit the earth.

<“)))><

[an enormous, hearty thanks goes to sylvia plath…the beyond brilliant poet who etched the poem “mushrooms”…which is where this image came from.  read her poem…click here…don’t wait…do it right this minute.]

https://allpoetry.com/poem/8498359-Mushrooms-by-Sylvia-Plath

splash

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check check
one two
hello
is this thing on
check check

one two

one two
hello
hello

i tried this before
and although 
i didn't get that loud
there was a spark
a little

but
i have better speakers now
i have turned up the juice

something tells me
this time
im gonna make 
a bigger splash!

http://www.blurb.com/search/site_search?search=j+todd+wilson&filter=bookstore&commit=Search

<")))><

get mucked!

a few years ago i released a book called gutter muck.
it is real and raw and obscene and nasty and very in-your-face...
a book about a young man who is so angry at the world that he rebels against every possible rule thrown at him.
i got favorable reviews from those who could stomach it...
but there was this part of me that worried i could be alienating people with something so offensive!
maybe my message was lost in all the profanity and nastiness.
so...i decided to do some re-tweaking...write a version that was less...well... raunchy.
i figured that way those who did not had stomachs that were not as strong could still digest it and enjoy it.

well...now...i am offering it to the world...
an alternate version...
for everyone who loves to read...
especially those who love to read books with their kindles and nooks and phones.
now...everyone can enjoy it...or be offended by it.

so...go to...
http://store.blurb.com/ebooks/521144-gutter-muck
and check it out.

if the new version does not appeal to you...
if it's way too weird...
then try the older version.

they are both available at 
http://www.blurb.com/b/2417597-gutter-muck

point...
click...
read!

gutter muck [alternate version] excerpt

[you cant do that]

but watchin ol dickypants get all jowled and frothy fangs was makin me cream.  alex.  hes the blotty that got me gummin like a freakazoid starsuckle and all.  all that malchicks and viddy and droogs and devotchkas and glazzies and slovos talk and all.  damn.  it all sunk in one summer after i read and read and read and re-read clockwork and all.  like all the time.  but i didnt spill that beanage to any sculcher within miles.  no one needed to know that preck.  i just weezied 

around gummin all this alex style preck and makin all these sculchers all nervy and fuzie 

and jitzo and all with all my mazzy cryptic lingo.  it was beeyoot for sure.  ol dickpickweed  jacked my clockwork and all and thought he was all slick and stuff and tried keepin up with me and all.  he thought he figgied out my bitty gameroo and before long was gummin back to me in this alex style lingo and figgyin all this precky preck out but he couldnt member anything and when i caught the sculcher flippin through my clockwork i ripped his mugger off and ripped the preck outta his damn didgies.  by then i figgied i hadta wizzle up my own tongees.  this got the ol dicky all hot and bothered and cranky and pissy that he didnt know where to start.  

[ya skinny precky] 

i just sat back and cacksied. 

beeyoot.  and i kept at it too.  over and over.  slammin him left and right with all this kindza preck that his skuller was spinnin over it all and not pickin up a single word and stuff.  beeyoot and a halfy.

if you can madgie for a sec we were all crammed into his precious pukey green rent-o-beamer wannabe clunker.  this hunka junk precky preck veek reeked of sausage and ciggies and catty piss.  just whiffin the lunks made me wanna puke all over the backseat.  and i think i actually got close a coupla times.  i was crammin my didgies all the waaaaay down my mouth too.  you know tryin to wiggle the bejeeblees out of my throat and uvula and tonsils and anything else that lived in there hopin i could yack up some 

its all i needed to hear as i was flick flick flick flickin my lighter and settin ablaze some ciggie i had found just sittin on the ground of that ratzer.  we were weezyin along one of them musty outer hallways and all and there she was justa sittin there on the ground waitin for me to pick her up.  i woulda lit up right then and there but it took me a few seckies to get my didgies on my lighter.  and then in no time i was puffin all these mazzy clouds at ol dickypants from the backseat.  justa blowin and blowin and blowin and blowin and there wasnt a whole helluva lot that sculcher could do about it. 

[i aint moving until you put that thing out] 

ol dickypants had killed the engine and was just sittin there like he was somethin hammerish and all.  like that was gonna make some kinda statement and all.  and so i just crossed my arms and sat there and looked back into his muddy eyes as he glared at me through his cracked rearview all steamy and reddy face and pissy and all justa suckin away.  puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff

[ill take you back inside myself] 

old dickypants was gummin.  [yeah thats gonna happy] 

i gummed back at him with the ciggie danglin outta my mugger. 

puff puff puff puff i could see it in the rearview lookin all mazzy and sweet and beeyoot.  you see they had 

just tried to lock me up.  whatta joke that was i tell ya.  it didnt matter if it was for a day or a week or a year or whatever.  throwin me in some pissy ratzer wasnt gonna change squat about nothin. 

those filthy bars man.  no matter what i did they were always there. you know.

  

hoverin

and all.

read the rest 

of

gutter muck

[alternate version]

available 

tuesday, march 31

@ 

blurb.com

gutter muck [alternate version]

the day the original version of gutter muck was published...

the very day my author's copy was delivered to me...

my muse was screaming at me...

"JT...wait...wait...i have an idea...a better idea!

what about this?"

i tried to shut her up.

i tried to put on headphones.

i wanted to celebrate the release of my new novel.

i wanted to bask in the rapture!

but she kept on...

screaming...

whining...

throwing poo...

nothing i could do would shut her up.

so, reluctantly,

i listened.

she had this idea.

she told me of another way that gutter muck could work.

i didn't want to listen.

i didn't want to hear her.

but...i did.

several months later...

after delving back into the characters that i just said goodbye to...

i created another version to gutter muck.

the original version is raw, raunchy, loaded with profanity...

so much so i am sure it has offended anyone who has had the stomach to read it.

my muse had me convinced that this might alienate some people.

so...i made an alternate version...

a version devoid of all the rawness and raunchiness and explosive profanity.

and in the process of making a few changes...

a new story sprouted.

new characters...

new ideas...

new thoughts...

a new set of ripples brought a whole new life to my novel.

the story was changed a bit...

but for the most part, it is still intact.

i have been reluctant to release it for numerous reasons.

mainly...i didn't want to confuse people...

two version of one novel?

would anyone have patience for that?

i wasn't sure.

i am not sure.

so for a few years i shelved it...

so uncertain...

and unwilling...

to let anyone peek at this different version.

my muse has me convinced that releasing it to the public is the only solution!

so...

an alternate version 

of 

gutter muck.

will be officially released

in hard copy version and in e-book form...

at blurb.com

on tuesday, march 31.

to take a little peek...

check out...

http://www.blurb.com/books/2417597-gutter-muck

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